Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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