hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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