You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
