I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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