i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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