im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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