ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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