Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
