This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
