Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
