I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.