ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
he had hair everywhere except his balls
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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