Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
