He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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