I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
