I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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