This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
