Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth

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(440): View more from Ohio

why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.

(1-440): View more from Ohio

you have got to be kidding?

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(769): View more from Mississippi

My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.

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(303): View more from Colorado

can you please not set my house on fire for once???

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(646): View more from New York

he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.

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