My brain says no but my pants say off.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
