He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
