Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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