i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
