My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
