16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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