i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
