Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
