Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
