Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
