So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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