I'm drive I can fine osifer
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
