I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
