I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
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I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
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He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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