what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
