Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
