I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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