I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
