Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
3 2 1 whiskey
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
