I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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