super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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