The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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