And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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