it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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