I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I intend to get homeless drunk
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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