I wannas sexs uuuuu
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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