Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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