I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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