oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
