i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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