I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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