I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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