woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
