Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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