How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
