I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
