My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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