Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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