There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize