So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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