Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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