we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
organizing the empties. That sober.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
