I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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